I am so sorry; really I am deeply sorry, I really mean it.
I am really really sorry, my dear blog for not posting on you for the last couple of months.
I got stuck in something that prevented me from writing on you. I really really hope that you one day can forgive me. I am truly soooooo sorry for what happened, blah blah blah.
You recall a similar situation? Either where you were saying sorry, or somebody else said sorry to you?
It does sound kind of wimpy right?
Like someone is crawling on the floor in deep shame trying to say sorry!
But then again, it is a selfish act because it is not about giving the receiver a sincere apology. It is about the person delivering the apology; in this case, me acting like a wimp to my blog for not posing on it.
It is selfish because I am saying sorry to clean my consciousness and getting the other person to respond positively, like saying “is ok, no worry about it.”
Or even better for my ego, making the person say something like this “No it is not your fault, but my own, you don’t have to say you are sorry.”
With this way of saying sorry, you are thinking about you, and not the person who deserves the sincere apology. You are removing your responsibility for your action.
On top of that, your excuse becomes less useful, because you say sorry repeatedly, here, right at the moment.
It gets even worse when you keep saying sorry for a repeated action, like if you are always late. The result is that you become less trustworthy and people will say “yeah sure, whatever.”
How to Make a Sincere Apology
So how do we make a sincere apology if we have screwed something up? These things do happen, and it indeed builds character and respect if you can step forward giving an excuse for your mistakes. But, don’t sound like a wimp, and only use a minimum of “I” words.
When you give an apology, it is all about taking the focus away from you and put it on the receiver. The apology should be all about the receiver and not you. It should be about you showing that you care about someone else feelings.
So let’s say you didn’t show up for an appointment because of you forgot it. It is a human mistake that happens to everyone.
So instead of using words like “I” and “sorry” repeatedly, you can say something like this:
“I deeply apologize for not making our appointment. It slipped my mind.”
“You didn’t deserve that, to be put in an awkward situation where you were waiting for me, wasting your time!”
“How are you feeling. Are you ok?”
“Let’s me make it up to you and hopefully earn your respect again!”
Your apology shouldn’t be much longer than this; else you may end up sounding like a wimp and fall right back into your old “I Am Soooooo Sorry” pattern.
Using this approach to apologize you show the receiver that you care about the person’s feelings and you do it without losing your self-respect.
Just because we screw up sometimes, we don’t need to lose our dignity and self-respect. You don’t need to start crawling on the floor acting like a wimp. Doing so repeatedly and you will end up surrounded by people who either don’t trust you or respect your character.
You give a sincere apology by putting the focus on the other person and not you, making it straight to the point.
I do know that some people will take advantage of you in this situation, trying to bargain with you. But, here it is up to you to decide how close you want to have them in your life.