It sounds so easy to follow this principle! Just stay away and say no to everyone trying to push you down. Make sure you are only surrounded by people having a positive mindset.
But what about people who are close to you, like family, your partner, or your parents? Then avoiding people who push you down can become a whole different ballgame!
Imagine your father screaming at you!
“You better get a regular job because you are not going to become a success with your online business or as an entrepreneur!”
Then he continues screaming. That you are wasting your time and that you should know your place in life, else you will break his and your mother’s heart!
Auch, are you sensing the feeling of guilt coming up?
And it doesn’t even have to be your father telling you all this; it can come from your mother or even worse, your partner. The loved one who is supposed to stay on your site and support you.
Trying to Stay Strong
Even if we try to stay strong and take it like a man/woman, swallowing our pride, it can be challenging to handle these types of outbursts. Even if we don’t want it too, it can really hurt and haunt us and pull us down for years.
Often when people go down with their business, it is not because they did not have the talent. It is because they got influenced too much by negative thoughts coming from loved ones.
The movie Dead Poets Society from 89 to Robin Williams is a great example of that.
One of the characters in the movie is a young boarding school boy who wants to become an actor, but a negative influence coming from his father ends up fatal. Him committing suicide, because he did not have the strength to stand up against his father.
Damaging Words Can Ruin Even The Best Entrepreneurs
Plenty of instructors in personal development, gurus, and books teaches us to get rid of negative people around us. We should only surround ourselves with people having a positive mindset. For many of us, it is easier said than done. Words coming from people we love and care about can be so powerful and damaging to us, that it can ruin us. It can destroy even the best intentions of building a business despite having a real talent for it.
And often, what keeps us from taking action and make it easier to ourselves, are questions we ask ourselves; Like “What if something happens and I will regret my action for the rest of my life?”
For some, it is probably easier to break up with a spouse that puts you in a negative mood than it is to cut the connection to your father or mother. But it is still a very destructive power that can destroy even the best intentions when it comes to building your business.
With your parents, your connection to them is so deeply routed back to your childhood, that you are completely locked in your actions. You are like the little child afraid of being yelled at because you did something terrible.
Again the issue of guilt comes up and paralyzes you when you are about to take action. You are afraid of building your business and take chances because you are afraid of being yelled at.
Unfortunately, the words from your parents can be so powerful and damage that you completely lose faith in yourself believing that you are not good enough to build your business. Terrified of hearing these words from your family “What did I tell you?”
Isn’t Easier Just To Do It Their Way?
What if you break the heart of your parents? Getting guilt you have to live with for the rest of your life! Isn’t just easier to live with it and do things their way? Of course not and here is why!
You are responsible for your own life, and if you want to start businesses, by all means, do it. You better get the best out of your own life!
And remember when it comes to entrepreneurship, you will likely fail anyway, at least a couple of times before you will get that success, where you can lean back telling yourself “I did it.”
It is a part of the game, and you better get used to it and get stronger, so you can deal with it.
Pull yourself up, wipe off the dust off your shoulders and move on.
What About Breaking The Connection to The Loved Ones Who Are Pulling Me Down?
I am not a shrink, I am an online affiliate marketer, and it is beyond the scope of this article to advise whether you should break up with your spouse or stay in a toxic relationship.
However, I can tell you this! Making the decision is totally up to what you feel is right at the moment. If you decide to live with it, you will have to make sure their negative thinking does not interfere with your business. You have to make yourself strong, and keep them at a certain distance, to how you manage things and your business.
On the other hand, if you want to get rid of toxic relationships in your life, you will know when the moment is right for you.
But do make the decision and avoid procrastination which is a vital factor in running a successful business, whether they are in your life or not. But make sure they are not ruining you or your business.
How I Deal With This Issue
“No one is ever gonna pull me down, forcing me to do something I do not want. I have not achieved my goals yet, but I will reach them, and no one is going to stop me.”
It is pretty much a sentence or similar, depending on the situation, I tell myself every day. And yes honestly, some days I have to scream it out because it is hard work.
It is difficult to avoid people pushing you down, and it is something you have to work on and learn to master. But it is a part of your life and your business. To deal with it, you have to set up new routines and incorporate them into your daily tasks.
Don’t Take it Personal
It may sound strange, but don’t take it too personal with people pushing you down. Isolate it, and them, like when your father tells you that you are a failure. Create this voice in your head, telling you “Oh oh, is that a negative thought was coming my way?” Put yourself above what negative people are telling you and don’t pay attention to it.
A good trick is to learn to have a conversation and be somewhere else in your mind. I know it is rude, but it is survival.
Also, do this breathing exercise.
Imagine all these negative thoughts you just got thrown at you, like a black cloud inside your chest. Now close your eyes, take a deep breath and imagine that you will one powerful blow is pushing all these dark clouds out of your chest.
There is one fundamental lesson here.
Never try to get the approval from people close to you, that are trying to push you down. They are either with you or just not there. Honestly, they are the ones what should seek your approval.
Know Exactly Where You Have People Close to You
As I said earlier, you don’t have to break the connection to loved ones, unless you are ready and know it is right for you.
As an entrepreneur and online marketer, you have to build yourself strong and be able to handle all sorts of people that are not thrilled the same way as you are.
So do this exercise; Ask yourself exactly where you have the people who are close to you?
For example, can you talk crazy ideas with your spouse, or does she tell you to go out and find a regular job?
Can you talk entrepreneurship with your father, telling him you want to build an online marketing business? Or does he tell you to study to become a doctor?
Can you talk future dreams and goals with your mother, or does she interrupt you and ask you to boil the potatoes, at the family dinner?
When You Know What You Can Expect
Things become much easier when you know where you have people and what to expect from them. It gets even more comfortable when you stop trying getting their approval all the time.
You will directly not get disappointed when you know where you have your spouse and that she doesn’t understand what you are talking about, with your crazy ideas. Or when you were now talking business ideas is not the right thing to do with your father.
The only question is whether you can live with it or not. Again, it is up to you making the decision.
Creating Your Mastermind Group
How is it possible to run a business If I do not get the support from my loved ones?
The truth is that it is not always a good idea to get support from your loved ones in the first place!
Understanding and respect yes, but support that makes you take business decisions influenced by emotions is never a good thing.
The overall solution is making your mastermind group. I am not talking about paying USD 7000 for joining a mastermind group online, where you end up being sold too, webinar after webinar.
I am talking about a real mastermind group, where people with different expertizes on the same path join forces to expand their minds. Just like an old English club with men smoking cigars and drinking whiskey, talking world politics and business.
As a mastermind group, you make it possible to expand your mind, become innovative thinking crazy ideas. As a mastermind group, people are around you will understand you. They will provide you with the feedback you need, without someone asking you to boil the potatoes, just because to talk future dreams.
Stay put because in the future I will be covering more about how you can get started creating your own mastermind group.
For now, I recommend you to check out this article 10 Things You Have to Know Work From Home It will help you to create your working at home environment the best possible way so you can get started building your business, without any interference.
After that also check out 10 Steps To Make Sure Your Work at Home Business is Not Running You, here we will go a couple of steps further and make sure that you stay in your charge of your business, and do not end up having your business running you.