Last Updated on May 14, 2023 by Martin
I am so sorry; really, I am deeply sorry, I really mean it.
I am really, really sorry, my dear blog, for not posting on you for the last couple of months. Well, now years 😨
I got stuck in something that prevented me from writing to you. I really, really hope that you one day can forgive me. I am genuinely soooooo sorry for what happened, blah blah blah.
Do you recall a comparable situation? Were you saying sorry, or did somebody else say sorry to you?
It does sound wimpy, right?
Like someone crawls on the floor in deep shame trying to say sorry! PATHETIC, Hypocritical.
But then again, it is selfish because it is not about giving the receiver a sincere apology. It is about the person delivering the apology; in this case, I am acting like a wimp to my blog for not posting on it.
It is selfish because I am saying sorry to clean my consciousness and getting the other person to respond positively, like saying, “It is ok, no worry about it.”
Or even better for my ego, making the person say something like this “No, it is not your fault, but my own, you don’t have to say you are sorry.”
With this way of saying sorry, you are thinking about yourself, not the person who deserves a sincere apology. You are removing your responsibility for your action.
On top of that, your excuse becomes less useful because you say sorry repeatedly, right at the moment.
It worsens when you keep apologizing for a repeated action, like if you are always late. The result is that you become less trustworthy, and people will say, “Yeah sure, whatever.” They will stop trusting you.
How to Make a Sincere Apology
So how do we apologize if we have screwed something up? These things do happen, and it indeed builds character and respect if you can step forward giving an excuse for your mistakes. But don’t sound like a wimp, and only use a minimum of “I” words.
When you give an apology, it is all about taking the focus away from you and putting it on the receiver. The apology should be all about the receiver and not you. It should be about showing that you care about someone else’s feelings.
So, let’s say you didn’t show up for an appointment because you forgot it. It is a human mistake that happens to everyone.
So instead of using words like “I” and “sorry” repeatedly, you can say something like this:
“I deeply apologize for not making our appointment. It slipped my mind.”
“You didn’t deserve that, to be put in an awkward situation where you were waiting for me, wasting your time!”
“How are you feeling? Are you ok?”
“Let me make it up to you and hopefully earn your respect again!”
Your apology shouldn’t be much longer than this; otherwise, you may end up sounding like a wimp and fall right back into your old “I Am Soooooo Sorry” pattern.
Using this approach to apologize, you show the receiver that you care about the person’s feelings, and you do it without losing your self-respect.
Remember
Just because we screw up sometimes, we don’t need to lose our dignity and self-respect. You don’t need to start crawling on the floor, acting like a wimp. Do so repeatedly, and you will be surrounded by people who either don’t trust you or respect your character.
You give a sincere apology by putting the focus on the other person and not you, making it straight to the point.
I know that some people will take advantage of you in this situation, trying to bargain with you. But here, it is up to you to decide how close you want to have them in your life. That’s a whole other blog post.
